“Brothers
and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward
what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which
God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-15
This week was about endings at
student teaching. My students each day saw more things come off the
walls as my teacher begins packing the classroom. I taught them for
the last time on Monday, then spent the rest of the week assisting as
necessary, finishing grading, or just observing. I attended the
declamation end-of-the-year party with some of the funniest and most
energetic students. I turned my technology tools back in to the tech
office. Then I walked out of the door for the last time on Friday
afternoon. For this reason, I thought about starting out this post
with 2 Timothy 4:7: “I
have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the
faith.” I must say, this semester – and this college experience
– may have seemed a bit like a marathon at times, or a battle, and
I do feel a bit victorious.
Yet,
it isn't the end in many aspects. Instead, I'm striving forward
towards where God is calling me next. This placement has prepared me
for that. The principals gave me great advice in a mock interview
Thursday which I carried into my first interview on Friday. In that
interview, I was asked to talk about what this student teaching has
taught me – and it has certainly taught me a lot about management,
about planning, about connecting to students, and about how to
implement all the knowledge and passion inside of me into the
classroom daily.
Thankfully,
I've also had two other calls for interviews and more applications
continue to be filled out. Even so, I'm struggling to rely on what
God has planned. I'm fearful about the future, afraid that I won't
get a job or that I won't have money. I've taken a hard hit not
having any income for this semester and I don't know when I'll start
making money again without confirmation of a position. God is
breaking me, bringing me to a point where my next step is fully
reliant on what He decides will happen. I just keep pressing on,
though, filling out applications, preparing for interviews, and
knowing that God will open the correct doors at the correct time and
not a moment sooner.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Week 16 - The final laps
Can it possibly be? Can this be my last week? Can it be that I
find myself floating above the current of stress and anxiety, done
with nearly everything for this semester?
Can I be going into my weeks of lasts here at Trinity?
Okay, the final line here is probably the saddest and I'm really trying not to dwell on it. The rest of it has me singing “hallelujah!”
Tomorrow marks my last day actually teaching in the classroom. Ms. Lynch has a day off, so I'm pretty much just teaching what she would be if she were there, and then Tuesday-Friday it's all her while I assist. One of my friends commented how I can say I came out of this experience alive, but I suppose I shouldn't speak too soon.
This past week was overall pretty average. I've found that in the structured instructional time I have a groove and usually feel in control of the situation. There are certain periods on certain days this isn't true, but overall it wasn't a bad week. The Dojo system works well for some kids, and others just continue what they were doing regardless. Fourth and fifth periods cause me the most issue, which is ironic since originally Ms. Lynch told me those were two classes that were her easiest to handle. I have students sending each other pictures the whole class period during fourth and students threatening to pee themselves or feuds breaking out during fifth. I'm not always perfect with how I handle these situations, but in my opinion I'm glad I experience this for the first time now while I can ask advice and support so when it comes up in my classroom later I'm ready.
Some are even acting up just to spite me. One kid told my cooperating teacher during his detention that he just wants me gone, so will break all of the rules until I leave. Since they were Ms. Lynch's rules (something she reminded him of), we'll see how that works out for him the rest of the semester. Others have expressed this same desire – to see me go – so some of the behavior stems from this. As the assistant principal told me, this attitude of wishing me gone might not last once I actually leave and I'll have kids trying to find me on Facebook.
One of the most impressive and exciting parts of teaching was the way that seventh hour is learning and responding. This was the class that my teacher warned me about, that she said was just awful all of first semester. Most of the kids in that class are either low academically or high behaviorally or both, so accommodations and differentiation is important in that class. However, this week I got some really thoughtful and insightful responses, more so than any of my other classes – including the class that is supposed to be accelerated. These students were really getting what we were reading, really thinking about it and analyzing it. It was great and I'm pretty thrilled about it.
Another impressive thing this week was the middle school's performance of The Little Mermaid (Jr.). Being a theatre geek, I was interested to see what they put on. It was fantastic, and some of my students blew me away with their talent. Seeing them in class I never would've guessed that some of them had that kind of singing voice or stage presence. I thoroughly enjoyed it and applaud all those involved with the scenery, the acting, the music, and more.
As mentioned, I turn over the reins this week Tuesday. We've finished Poe and I can't help but shake my head at how worried I was. This unit has been the best one yet. I've learned a lot from it, since I didn't know much Poe prior to this, and the kids were pretty hooked as well. The next unit my teacher is transitioning into is fairy tales and considering stereotypes. Though this would be fun to stick around and be a part of, I am definitely ready to bow out and move on to what these final weeks at Trinity will bring.
Since I've been so focused on student teaching, I was honestly a little taken aback when talking to my friends and realizing I'm already taking part in so many lasts here at Trinity, lasts of things that were important to my time here. Now that I have a weight off my shoulders, I am not letting these final days slip by unnoticed or unappreciated. This school has been amazing to me and while I look forward to what God brings in my future – a new marriage, a new job (interviews this week!), a new living situation – I will cherish everything I've experienced here and will not let go easily.
But before we get into all of that sentimental stuff... I do have one week left at school, and two at Trinity. It's time to carpe diem!
Can I be going into my weeks of lasts here at Trinity?
Okay, the final line here is probably the saddest and I'm really trying not to dwell on it. The rest of it has me singing “hallelujah!”
Tomorrow marks my last day actually teaching in the classroom. Ms. Lynch has a day off, so I'm pretty much just teaching what she would be if she were there, and then Tuesday-Friday it's all her while I assist. One of my friends commented how I can say I came out of this experience alive, but I suppose I shouldn't speak too soon.
This past week was overall pretty average. I've found that in the structured instructional time I have a groove and usually feel in control of the situation. There are certain periods on certain days this isn't true, but overall it wasn't a bad week. The Dojo system works well for some kids, and others just continue what they were doing regardless. Fourth and fifth periods cause me the most issue, which is ironic since originally Ms. Lynch told me those were two classes that were her easiest to handle. I have students sending each other pictures the whole class period during fourth and students threatening to pee themselves or feuds breaking out during fifth. I'm not always perfect with how I handle these situations, but in my opinion I'm glad I experience this for the first time now while I can ask advice and support so when it comes up in my classroom later I'm ready.
Some are even acting up just to spite me. One kid told my cooperating teacher during his detention that he just wants me gone, so will break all of the rules until I leave. Since they were Ms. Lynch's rules (something she reminded him of), we'll see how that works out for him the rest of the semester. Others have expressed this same desire – to see me go – so some of the behavior stems from this. As the assistant principal told me, this attitude of wishing me gone might not last once I actually leave and I'll have kids trying to find me on Facebook.
One of the most impressive and exciting parts of teaching was the way that seventh hour is learning and responding. This was the class that my teacher warned me about, that she said was just awful all of first semester. Most of the kids in that class are either low academically or high behaviorally or both, so accommodations and differentiation is important in that class. However, this week I got some really thoughtful and insightful responses, more so than any of my other classes – including the class that is supposed to be accelerated. These students were really getting what we were reading, really thinking about it and analyzing it. It was great and I'm pretty thrilled about it.
Another impressive thing this week was the middle school's performance of The Little Mermaid (Jr.). Being a theatre geek, I was interested to see what they put on. It was fantastic, and some of my students blew me away with their talent. Seeing them in class I never would've guessed that some of them had that kind of singing voice or stage presence. I thoroughly enjoyed it and applaud all those involved with the scenery, the acting, the music, and more.
As mentioned, I turn over the reins this week Tuesday. We've finished Poe and I can't help but shake my head at how worried I was. This unit has been the best one yet. I've learned a lot from it, since I didn't know much Poe prior to this, and the kids were pretty hooked as well. The next unit my teacher is transitioning into is fairy tales and considering stereotypes. Though this would be fun to stick around and be a part of, I am definitely ready to bow out and move on to what these final weeks at Trinity will bring.
Since I've been so focused on student teaching, I was honestly a little taken aback when talking to my friends and realizing I'm already taking part in so many lasts here at Trinity, lasts of things that were important to my time here. Now that I have a weight off my shoulders, I am not letting these final days slip by unnoticed or unappreciated. This school has been amazing to me and while I look forward to what God brings in my future – a new marriage, a new job (interviews this week!), a new living situation – I will cherish everything I've experienced here and will not let go easily.
But before we get into all of that sentimental stuff... I do have one week left at school, and two at Trinity. It's time to carpe diem!
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Week 12 - Chin up, I'm pressing on
After this placement, I'm a pro at dealing with standardized tests
in my planning. Yes, I planned around a third standardized test this
past week. It's getting to be a little nuts but I think I'm clear for
the next two weeks.
The beginning of my week was quite eventful, but in a good way. I excitedly told my teacher I had the best Easter weekend of my life the first thing Tuesday morning and showed off my left hand a little. She was so excited that she sent out an email to the whole staff – and that's a lot of staff. It was a fantastic day after that, with teachers coming up and congratulating me all the time. I felt a part of the staff in a way I haven't yet. My homeroom students caught wind of it right away in the morning, and so they also spread the word a little (although I found out later a majority of my classes actually didn't know until Thursday, but not a big deal).
We also had MAP testing on Tuesday and Wednesday, which meant I didn't see all of my classes for either of those days. Though I thought it would seriously mess with my planning, because I worked it all out about a week and a half before, it all ended up working quite perfectly.
Thursday things got rough again. I encountered disrespect towards me, students ditching class, and disregard for what I was saying. Yet, that being said, that was a small minority of the students, and most of the actual instruction time was what I've typically faced. However, I stuck with the behavior system and put in some negative marks, and students received necessary consequences. I think that had some effect on how students behaved Friday, because most stayed in line during instructional, Language Arts time. Advisory that day was chaos, though; it's a somewhat long story that I won't go into. Yet, somehow that also turned into a blessing. Because I felt I had been dropping the ball and should've had better control over the students, I was feeling pretty down after classes ended and sent an email apologizing to another teacher for dropping the ball. She came down to encourage me, and as she was building me up and being my sounding board, the assistant principal also came in the room and tried to encourage me. Though I was still shaken up, their support was what I needed and I can go into the next week knowing a have experienced teachers knowing my pain and actually feeling the same way I am right now.
On another bright note, I'm loving this unit and not feeling near as stressed. Partially this is because my teacher is a Poe expert and has so many resources at my fingertips. Also, it's because I'm actually able to read with the students – for once! - and I find it easier to bring in supplemental material when it really is supplemental to the main part of the lesson, which is reading a poem or story. I believe I'll be transitioning out of the full-time by the end of the week, but I'm glad I got to brush up my Poe and am laughing at how stressed I was that I was going to mess this up.
Eighth grade right now is rough. They know they're moving on, so don't care as much about academics. Some have already lost end of the year privileges, so really don't care about their behavior either. I stay strong in front of the students, and never let them know if they get under my skin, but I can only take so many hits before it does affect me. I know I'm doing my job and that's why the kids don't like me right now; I know I'm not superwoman and can't see everything. I can only do the best I can and with the back-up of others around me, that's how I'm going to go into these final weeks.
The beginning of my week was quite eventful, but in a good way. I excitedly told my teacher I had the best Easter weekend of my life the first thing Tuesday morning and showed off my left hand a little. She was so excited that she sent out an email to the whole staff – and that's a lot of staff. It was a fantastic day after that, with teachers coming up and congratulating me all the time. I felt a part of the staff in a way I haven't yet. My homeroom students caught wind of it right away in the morning, and so they also spread the word a little (although I found out later a majority of my classes actually didn't know until Thursday, but not a big deal).
We also had MAP testing on Tuesday and Wednesday, which meant I didn't see all of my classes for either of those days. Though I thought it would seriously mess with my planning, because I worked it all out about a week and a half before, it all ended up working quite perfectly.
Thursday things got rough again. I encountered disrespect towards me, students ditching class, and disregard for what I was saying. Yet, that being said, that was a small minority of the students, and most of the actual instruction time was what I've typically faced. However, I stuck with the behavior system and put in some negative marks, and students received necessary consequences. I think that had some effect on how students behaved Friday, because most stayed in line during instructional, Language Arts time. Advisory that day was chaos, though; it's a somewhat long story that I won't go into. Yet, somehow that also turned into a blessing. Because I felt I had been dropping the ball and should've had better control over the students, I was feeling pretty down after classes ended and sent an email apologizing to another teacher for dropping the ball. She came down to encourage me, and as she was building me up and being my sounding board, the assistant principal also came in the room and tried to encourage me. Though I was still shaken up, their support was what I needed and I can go into the next week knowing a have experienced teachers knowing my pain and actually feeling the same way I am right now.
On another bright note, I'm loving this unit and not feeling near as stressed. Partially this is because my teacher is a Poe expert and has so many resources at my fingertips. Also, it's because I'm actually able to read with the students – for once! - and I find it easier to bring in supplemental material when it really is supplemental to the main part of the lesson, which is reading a poem or story. I believe I'll be transitioning out of the full-time by the end of the week, but I'm glad I got to brush up my Poe and am laughing at how stressed I was that I was going to mess this up.
Eighth grade right now is rough. They know they're moving on, so don't care as much about academics. Some have already lost end of the year privileges, so really don't care about their behavior either. I stay strong in front of the students, and never let them know if they get under my skin, but I can only take so many hits before it does affect me. I know I'm doing my job and that's why the kids don't like me right now; I know I'm not superwoman and can't see everything. I can only do the best I can and with the back-up of others around me, that's how I'm going to go into these final weeks.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Week 15 - Going Up
This past week improved quite a bit from the previous two weeks.
Though the kids were still talkative and occasionally disrespectful,
I felt better about the week and I think the kids enjoyed, mostly,
what I was teaching. This week I was introducing the students to Poe,
which is the next unit we begin. Despite my nerves about it, once I
found a mystery story to read, I was excited to go through it with
the students. And the students seemed intrigued, too, and after the
first day some even read ahead to find out the ending. I could hardly
discourage that, although I encouraged them to keep some details a
secret. The story ended up taking the whole week, which was
unexpected, but actually allows for me to have more planning ahead
for the week to come. In the end, I'm more excited about the Poe unit
than I was a week ago.
Another positive that came toward the end of the week is another new behavior system, which my cooperating teacher was planning to implement in the last unit of the year anyway. It involves Class Dojo, and marking when students display a negative behavior. My teacher and I discussed which behaviors need to be cut down, and what consequences we will enforce. It was then explained to the students, and has already been implemented. I'm hoping this also improves the students' behaviors or reinforces what's appropriate for the classroom.
I am hoping these next three weeks remain on the higher side as far as good behaviors and fun with the students. I want to have positive relationships with these students, and I love it when I can laugh with them. I want to end this semester on a high note, including with my students. With only three weeks left, I am leaning on God's strength to carry me through.
Another positive that came toward the end of the week is another new behavior system, which my cooperating teacher was planning to implement in the last unit of the year anyway. It involves Class Dojo, and marking when students display a negative behavior. My teacher and I discussed which behaviors need to be cut down, and what consequences we will enforce. It was then explained to the students, and has already been implemented. I'm hoping this also improves the students' behaviors or reinforces what's appropriate for the classroom.
I am hoping these next three weeks remain on the higher side as far as good behaviors and fun with the students. I want to have positive relationships with these students, and I love it when I can laugh with them. I want to end this semester on a high note, including with my students. With only three weeks left, I am leaning on God's strength to carry me through.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Week 14 - We're Getting There
In light of what I wrote about last week, I'm going to start out
this week just listing some of the positives:
I'm not going to go on to list negatives because no one wants to read a list of complaints, and really my footing seemed surer this week. However, I will go on to give you a window into some more portions of my week.
This week we continued our Shakespeare unit, though it was basically the last week. Monday's lesson went all right, because it was mostly reviewing who all of the characters of A Midsummer Night's Dream (AMND) are – it does get confusing! I also showed some clips I found on youtube of some of the scenes, which is how Shakespeare was intended anyway – to be seen. The kids were pretty talkative on this day, though, but I started the new timer system. However, advisory did not go well. The students wanted to go to the gym, like we do many days, but I was told to just keep them in the classroom today while my teacher finished with the PARCC students. They had an assignment – check their grades, make a plan for how to improve them – and then just had quiet time to read or work. However, most of the students didn't want to stay in the classroom and were pestering me most of the class. One student kept getting up and going to walk out the door, but then would come back. However, eventually, he ran, saying he was going to the gym, and slammed the door in my face. I stepped into the hall and he was nowhere in sight. Just at that moment, my cooperating teacher was coming down the hall and I told her. She called the office just before the student returned. He told the principal he was going to go to the bathroom, but he was given a consequence anyway because he had not indicated anything to me other than that he was gone. However, this student continues to challenge me (and honestly, most of the teachers). He has taken to calling me by my first name, mostly to get a rise out of me, which is why I show little reaction. He also refused to listen the rest of the week in advisory and told me repeatedly this week how all the students dislike me. Thankfully, I have a thick skin in regards to his comments and am also aware that he's just trying to get to me. But it doesn't exactly feel nice either.
Tuesday's lesson was a flop, really. I was trying to do a jigsaw activity with an article about what Shakespeare used as sources for some of his characters and plot points of AMND, but few were understanding what to do, even after it was laid out step by step on the board, and they refused to go with the groups I split them into. As a reflective teacher, I realized by last hour this was going nowhere, so switched up some tactics and worked through the article as a whole class instead.
Wednesday improved. We watched portions of the movie version of AMND and looked at specific, important quotes to try to decode some of the language. Most students appreciated watching the movie clips and that kept them quieter.
Thursday was better still. The students were assigned a short writing piece – 2-3 paragraphs – arguing why Puck is the protagonist of the play. We first discussed who they thought might be the main character, and why. Students seemed engaged in this, and then I explained that we'd be specifically considering Puck as a protagonist (as required by my teacher). After laying out the guidelines for what I expected, including explaining setting up quotes using the analogy of an Oreo, students got to work and worked on this again on Friday.
Friday was by far the best day – students worked for the whole period, we saw the play, and it was a sunny day. However, I got more comments from a couple other students that I was not being nice to them and was only ever picking on them. These came after I had circled the room a few times, reminding them and several other students in other areas of the room to stay on task and get to work. Now, I know that I was giving other students reminders to stay on task and so I wasn't singling them out, as they claimed. Additionally, I never raised my voice to them, only redirected them away from conversation. However, as a reflective teacher, with about 4-5 students in the week making comments about either disliking me or thinking I was mean or unfair (one student had similar comments Thursday because I wouldn't allow him to eat in the room and I was telling him to quit talking numerous times), I couldn't help but wonder if something in me this week was more harsh than usual, or if this was the students just getting defensive and I was in the clear. Most of me says, after thinking about it, that because I've started being more firm and giving stricter consequences, students are reacting. I would need a third, adult opinion about my behavior this week, though, because maybe there was something I wasn't seeing in how I interacted with students. Yet, the attitude I display for students will be something I will keep in mind going into this week.
We're beginning Poe this week, and it honestly has me quite nervous. I'm supposed to be teaching them the biographical information about Poe and other background material, and then after Easter starting “The Raven.” Poe is someone I have learned very little about as a man himself, and the last time I read “The Raven” was junior year of high school. To add pressure, my teacher is a Poe fanatic and was describing how she had to plan and provide materials for the other Reading and Language Arts teachers because she wants this unit done “right.” As a positive, I do have the long weekend to think about “The Raven” and we are only easing into Poe this week because Reading isn't ready. Yet, MAP testing is also throwing a wrench into plans because a) my students take them Thursday then the following Tuesday and Wednesday and b) the teams decided that instead of shortening all classes to just change which classes we see each day. So with break in there, there are some classes I don't see for just under a week, so I can't plan anything big that they will forget when they don't have class or anything that bridges the weekend. On the plus side, working with this schedule at least prepares me for standardized testing schedules when I'm a teacher!
I have 18 school days left at this placement – 2 four day weeks and 2 five days weeks. At this point, I don't know when I'll be transitioning out of full-time teaching – if that will be at the end of April, at the end of the Poe unit, or if I will be teaching 6 classes right up until May 9. I'm just taking it a week at a time, trying to do everything that's needed, no matter how much time that takes. I'm hoping that soon I will have time to actually enjoy my last weeks with my friends, with the Trinity community that has meant so much to me over four years, before graduation and we all spread to different parts of the world (literally... I have friends going global), even if that means just an hour a day that I take a breather from schoolwork and planning.
In this week of Holy Week, I also hope to be filled and reminded daily of what this week means to our faith. Thus, though I may not be getting spiritually filled at school, I pray that I be granted ime to be filled by doing special activities this week on campus that will then allow me to pour out an extra measure of love in the classroom.
- 2 days this week, I taught only 3 of the Language Arts
classes and the advisory class because the first two classes were
taking PARCC testing in the morning. While this had some negative
effects as well, easing into the morning just silently watching kids
take a test was a pretty nice start to the day
- my cooperating teacher had me implement a system she's used
before to get the kids to be quiet quicker – hold up a timer and
time how long it takes. If the class gets to 5 minutes by Friday,
they all have a lunch detention. It did seem to work better for
getting them to get quiet quickly, and no class got to 5 minutes
- CST traveling company performed A Midsummer Night's Dream
for us Friday and it was
fantastic
- Friday we were able to go
outside during advisory class because it was so gorgeous and sunny
- some students in 4th
hour commented on Friday how I was a nice teacher, which was good in
light of some other comments I'd been getting that day and the
previous day
- I didn't feel as behind on
my planning as previous weeks
- I was in bed by 12:00 or
12:30 most nights
I'm not going to go on to list negatives because no one wants to read a list of complaints, and really my footing seemed surer this week. However, I will go on to give you a window into some more portions of my week.
This week we continued our Shakespeare unit, though it was basically the last week. Monday's lesson went all right, because it was mostly reviewing who all of the characters of A Midsummer Night's Dream (AMND) are – it does get confusing! I also showed some clips I found on youtube of some of the scenes, which is how Shakespeare was intended anyway – to be seen. The kids were pretty talkative on this day, though, but I started the new timer system. However, advisory did not go well. The students wanted to go to the gym, like we do many days, but I was told to just keep them in the classroom today while my teacher finished with the PARCC students. They had an assignment – check their grades, make a plan for how to improve them – and then just had quiet time to read or work. However, most of the students didn't want to stay in the classroom and were pestering me most of the class. One student kept getting up and going to walk out the door, but then would come back. However, eventually, he ran, saying he was going to the gym, and slammed the door in my face. I stepped into the hall and he was nowhere in sight. Just at that moment, my cooperating teacher was coming down the hall and I told her. She called the office just before the student returned. He told the principal he was going to go to the bathroom, but he was given a consequence anyway because he had not indicated anything to me other than that he was gone. However, this student continues to challenge me (and honestly, most of the teachers). He has taken to calling me by my first name, mostly to get a rise out of me, which is why I show little reaction. He also refused to listen the rest of the week in advisory and told me repeatedly this week how all the students dislike me. Thankfully, I have a thick skin in regards to his comments and am also aware that he's just trying to get to me. But it doesn't exactly feel nice either.
Tuesday's lesson was a flop, really. I was trying to do a jigsaw activity with an article about what Shakespeare used as sources for some of his characters and plot points of AMND, but few were understanding what to do, even after it was laid out step by step on the board, and they refused to go with the groups I split them into. As a reflective teacher, I realized by last hour this was going nowhere, so switched up some tactics and worked through the article as a whole class instead.
Wednesday improved. We watched portions of the movie version of AMND and looked at specific, important quotes to try to decode some of the language. Most students appreciated watching the movie clips and that kept them quieter.
Thursday was better still. The students were assigned a short writing piece – 2-3 paragraphs – arguing why Puck is the protagonist of the play. We first discussed who they thought might be the main character, and why. Students seemed engaged in this, and then I explained that we'd be specifically considering Puck as a protagonist (as required by my teacher). After laying out the guidelines for what I expected, including explaining setting up quotes using the analogy of an Oreo, students got to work and worked on this again on Friday.
Friday was by far the best day – students worked for the whole period, we saw the play, and it was a sunny day. However, I got more comments from a couple other students that I was not being nice to them and was only ever picking on them. These came after I had circled the room a few times, reminding them and several other students in other areas of the room to stay on task and get to work. Now, I know that I was giving other students reminders to stay on task and so I wasn't singling them out, as they claimed. Additionally, I never raised my voice to them, only redirected them away from conversation. However, as a reflective teacher, with about 4-5 students in the week making comments about either disliking me or thinking I was mean or unfair (one student had similar comments Thursday because I wouldn't allow him to eat in the room and I was telling him to quit talking numerous times), I couldn't help but wonder if something in me this week was more harsh than usual, or if this was the students just getting defensive and I was in the clear. Most of me says, after thinking about it, that because I've started being more firm and giving stricter consequences, students are reacting. I would need a third, adult opinion about my behavior this week, though, because maybe there was something I wasn't seeing in how I interacted with students. Yet, the attitude I display for students will be something I will keep in mind going into this week.
We're beginning Poe this week, and it honestly has me quite nervous. I'm supposed to be teaching them the biographical information about Poe and other background material, and then after Easter starting “The Raven.” Poe is someone I have learned very little about as a man himself, and the last time I read “The Raven” was junior year of high school. To add pressure, my teacher is a Poe fanatic and was describing how she had to plan and provide materials for the other Reading and Language Arts teachers because she wants this unit done “right.” As a positive, I do have the long weekend to think about “The Raven” and we are only easing into Poe this week because Reading isn't ready. Yet, MAP testing is also throwing a wrench into plans because a) my students take them Thursday then the following Tuesday and Wednesday and b) the teams decided that instead of shortening all classes to just change which classes we see each day. So with break in there, there are some classes I don't see for just under a week, so I can't plan anything big that they will forget when they don't have class or anything that bridges the weekend. On the plus side, working with this schedule at least prepares me for standardized testing schedules when I'm a teacher!
I have 18 school days left at this placement – 2 four day weeks and 2 five days weeks. At this point, I don't know when I'll be transitioning out of full-time teaching – if that will be at the end of April, at the end of the Poe unit, or if I will be teaching 6 classes right up until May 9. I'm just taking it a week at a time, trying to do everything that's needed, no matter how much time that takes. I'm hoping that soon I will have time to actually enjoy my last weeks with my friends, with the Trinity community that has meant so much to me over four years, before graduation and we all spread to different parts of the world (literally... I have friends going global), even if that means just an hour a day that I take a breather from schoolwork and planning.
In this week of Holy Week, I also hope to be filled and reminded daily of what this week means to our faith. Thus, though I may not be getting spiritually filled at school, I pray that I be granted ime to be filled by doing special activities this week on campus that will then allow me to pour out an extra measure of love in the classroom.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Week 13 - Take a Deep Breath
Though we had just returned from Break, the schedule immediately
threw us, teachers and students alike, back into the thick of things.
We started the Shakespeare unit, which is a combined unit for Reading
and Language Arts classes. The unit will culminate in a performance
of A Midsummer Night's Dream at
Central's auditorium on the 11th.
In Reading, they're reading an abridged version of the play and
Language Arts is supposed to supplement that with information about
Shakespeare, the language, the time period, or reviewing material
they need more exposure to because they aren't understanding it in
Reading. The unit has actually been going well, at least on the
Language Arts end, so far. I had a feeling these students would not
see the relevance of Shakespeare, and being a Shakespeare fan myself,
I wanted to find ways that Shakespeare might be fun for the students.
I gave them an in-class project to show how many stories we watch on
film or read in books today were based on Shakespeare, in order to
bring more relevance to Shakespeare. We did an activity with
Shakespearean insults because it's part of the more fun and humorous
parts of Shakespeare and his language. Though there's still students
who choose to grumble, overall they seem to be enjoying the lessons I
teach thus far.
It is, however, strange for me to not be reading the play in conjunction with what I teach. I like these lessons; however, to me it would make more sense if I was also reading the play with them. That is where these lessons have true value – in connection to the text and performance. It also, apparently, is hard for the students to make that connection between Language Arts and Reading still, despite the fact that in reality it's all the same subject. Some students made comments questioning why the teachers are all wanting to talk about this play; I explained that Reading is connected to Language Arts, and we're helping each other out, but they still aren't sure why it's covered in two classes that they view as wholly separate. Another student told me I shouldn't have chosen to give them homework – and a quiz on that homework, per what my teacher constructed – on Midsummer since they are learning it in another class so already know some of the answers. I explained to him again that's the point – we want to continue to integrate these classes together and emphasize what is taught in each.
One challenge, however, is PARCC testing. This is the test that is supposedly taking the place of ISATs next year. On Monday of last week, we had a training for the test. Then the test happened on Friday, and continues this upcoming Monday and Tuesday. This wouldn't be that big of an inconvenience, except for the fact that only two of my classes are doing this test, during 1st and 2nd hour. Students in the following 4th, 5th, and 7th hours don't do it all. So I have to carry on with lessons for them, but it has to be lessons that it won't matter that 1st and 2nd hours miss. It's a weird schedule to work with. However, I've been able to find some filler activities on Shakespeare that are valuable but unnecessary to all classes.
Honestly, this placement is starting to wear me out. I'm staying at school after other teachers have left, working on plans the night before I teach them, then grading, grading, and grading some more. Ideally, those plans would be made during the weekend, but weekends are for me to apply for jobs and work on classwork. I'm stressed about the fact that no one, in all the applications and feelers I have out there, has contacted me for interviews, despite the fact that I have been applying since January and others have had many interviews and even have jobs. However, I'm hoping this will turn around soon. I've finished grading narratives (and rewarded myself with a customary Cadbury crème egg), so I won't have that to do every night. I am nearly 2 days ahead on the plans for the week, so hopefully that pattern will give me some space.
In addition to the hope I have, I have good friends. All of this busy-ness has kept me from making a lot of contact with my friends. But this weekend I spent some meals with some close friends on campus. During those conversations, one friend stopped me and asked me to tell her three positive things about school. I did, and she's made it her mission to find out three new positives each day. She told me she doesn't want to see me coast through the next five weeks or grow negative. I know I need that accountability or I may start losing heart and focus. I do love what I'm doing; I love the topics I teach, and I do have some fun with my students. I still feel called to teaching. I just needed good friends and reminding to smile about that.
It is, however, strange for me to not be reading the play in conjunction with what I teach. I like these lessons; however, to me it would make more sense if I was also reading the play with them. That is where these lessons have true value – in connection to the text and performance. It also, apparently, is hard for the students to make that connection between Language Arts and Reading still, despite the fact that in reality it's all the same subject. Some students made comments questioning why the teachers are all wanting to talk about this play; I explained that Reading is connected to Language Arts, and we're helping each other out, but they still aren't sure why it's covered in two classes that they view as wholly separate. Another student told me I shouldn't have chosen to give them homework – and a quiz on that homework, per what my teacher constructed – on Midsummer since they are learning it in another class so already know some of the answers. I explained to him again that's the point – we want to continue to integrate these classes together and emphasize what is taught in each.
One challenge, however, is PARCC testing. This is the test that is supposedly taking the place of ISATs next year. On Monday of last week, we had a training for the test. Then the test happened on Friday, and continues this upcoming Monday and Tuesday. This wouldn't be that big of an inconvenience, except for the fact that only two of my classes are doing this test, during 1st and 2nd hour. Students in the following 4th, 5th, and 7th hours don't do it all. So I have to carry on with lessons for them, but it has to be lessons that it won't matter that 1st and 2nd hours miss. It's a weird schedule to work with. However, I've been able to find some filler activities on Shakespeare that are valuable but unnecessary to all classes.
Honestly, this placement is starting to wear me out. I'm staying at school after other teachers have left, working on plans the night before I teach them, then grading, grading, and grading some more. Ideally, those plans would be made during the weekend, but weekends are for me to apply for jobs and work on classwork. I'm stressed about the fact that no one, in all the applications and feelers I have out there, has contacted me for interviews, despite the fact that I have been applying since January and others have had many interviews and even have jobs. However, I'm hoping this will turn around soon. I've finished grading narratives (and rewarded myself with a customary Cadbury crème egg), so I won't have that to do every night. I am nearly 2 days ahead on the plans for the week, so hopefully that pattern will give me some space.
In addition to the hope I have, I have good friends. All of this busy-ness has kept me from making a lot of contact with my friends. But this weekend I spent some meals with some close friends on campus. During those conversations, one friend stopped me and asked me to tell her three positive things about school. I did, and she's made it her mission to find out three new positives each day. She told me she doesn't want to see me coast through the next five weeks or grow negative. I know I need that accountability or I may start losing heart and focus. I do love what I'm doing; I love the topics I teach, and I do have some fun with my students. I still feel called to teaching. I just needed good friends and reminding to smile about that.
Friday, March 21, 2014
Trying to Find Respect - week 11
This week was mostly about fine tuning. On Monday, I reviewed
dialogue rules with the students, hoping to improve this portion of
their narratives. Tuesday and Wednesday we reviewed some of the comma
rules students had already learned but were struggling to remember
how to use in their own writing. The reason behind these review
sessions was because as I conferenced with students on their writing,
I saw people struggling with these rules, and instead of just picking
out every little mistake I wanted to teach students to take
responsibility for themselves. In doing this, and giving students the
responsibility of fixing their writing themselves, I was aiming to
have them construct their learning, and then hopefully that rule
might stick better the next time they write. Thus, I built into the
lessons time to have students look for places they needed to
incorporate the rule we had just discussed in their writing. I was
trying to give relevancy to grammar lessons, because too often
grammar gets separated from its real goal – to improve writing. Did
every student use that time effectively? Maybe not. Yet, it was
explained that I would then be checking carefully for the use of
these rules, and it would affect their grade, and so far I have stuck
to that promise. I want students to see that grammar does matter and
does need to be included for clear writing.
The second half of the week we watched Hoodwinked. This was a nice break for me and for the students, and yet it also had relevancy to Language Arts and narrative writing. In Hoodwinked, the story of Red Riding Hood is told from four different people's perspectives. Thus, I set up the movie by reminding students about point of view, and asking that they consider how different points of view affect how the story is told. They also had a brief worksheet that asked them questions about the same idea.
The biggest struggle of the week was battling issues with respect and complaining. There were numerous times I would ask students to do something, and they would straight out refuse or give me some back talk. I'm not easily riled up with students, and I don't hand out consequences like detentions very quickly. However, this week it became a necessity to hand out some detentions, because the vocal correction was not cutting it with some students. Furthermore, some other teachers would step in and reprimand students for not doing as I asked, reminding them that I was the teacher and I got to tell them what the rules were.
Further, I daily battled complaining. There were whining complaints like “This is so boring. Why are we learning this?” or “I hate Hoodwinked. It's so dumb.” There were challenges to what we were doing, such as “We already know this. This is stupid,” “Can't we just talk instead of watching this movie? Why do we have to watch it?”, and “Let's watch Frozen! That's so much better. Hoodwinked sucks.” When these came up, I've learned in other teaching experiences to give them a rational response to their questions. So I would explain why we were reviewing grammar, or I would remind students how Hoodwinked related to what we'd talked about for narratives. I also presented students trying to bring up their own ideas for how class should go during the movie day with the options for the day – grammar lessons or a movie. I was fully prepared to back myself up on this one if they kept complaining, already having a couple plans in my head of what might be some grammar to teach them. I wasn't trying to be sarcastic or talk back to my students; I stayed calm and gave them a rational, true response to their queries. I needed to give a firm reminder that I decided the plans, not them.
Through these complaints and the lack of respect to my instruction, I've seen that somehow I have not set up my presence as teacher in this classroom firmly for students yet. I'm dancing a fine line, because I love building rapport with my students; yet, they definitely need to respect me as well and I have to be a firm authority presence.
Now we go on spring break; even that has taught me about what being a teacher really means! The narratives aren't going on third quarter, so aren't required to be finished in a week, but the students probably will ask. So, here I am, the night before I leave for Cancun with some of my best friends (coincidentally, our spring breaks lined up, and we planned this trip in November), downloading some of the narratives to grade on the plane. I want to be one of those on the ball teachers, so I hope to get done as many as I can on the plane rides, and even in the hotel, before I return to school a week from Monday. People may claim teachers have a lot of break time, but really, our work doesn't end when we aren't in the “office.”
This spring break came at a much needed time. However, we jump right back into a crazy week when we return. We start learning about Shakespeare, as the Reading class reads A Midsummer Night's Dream, which will be fun for me, but I know will cause even more of this complaining. I'm coming up with ideas now to show them how relevant Shakespeare's stories remain in today's movies, plays, and books, and hopefully that will hook them. Then, PARC testing is occurring, but only for 2 periods, so the other periods have to be taught something that it's okay for 1st and 2nd to miss. Crazy.
For now, I'm eager to escape this weather. 80's and sun, here I come!
Oh, but now back to grading.
The second half of the week we watched Hoodwinked. This was a nice break for me and for the students, and yet it also had relevancy to Language Arts and narrative writing. In Hoodwinked, the story of Red Riding Hood is told from four different people's perspectives. Thus, I set up the movie by reminding students about point of view, and asking that they consider how different points of view affect how the story is told. They also had a brief worksheet that asked them questions about the same idea.
The biggest struggle of the week was battling issues with respect and complaining. There were numerous times I would ask students to do something, and they would straight out refuse or give me some back talk. I'm not easily riled up with students, and I don't hand out consequences like detentions very quickly. However, this week it became a necessity to hand out some detentions, because the vocal correction was not cutting it with some students. Furthermore, some other teachers would step in and reprimand students for not doing as I asked, reminding them that I was the teacher and I got to tell them what the rules were.
Further, I daily battled complaining. There were whining complaints like “This is so boring. Why are we learning this?” or “I hate Hoodwinked. It's so dumb.” There were challenges to what we were doing, such as “We already know this. This is stupid,” “Can't we just talk instead of watching this movie? Why do we have to watch it?”, and “Let's watch Frozen! That's so much better. Hoodwinked sucks.” When these came up, I've learned in other teaching experiences to give them a rational response to their questions. So I would explain why we were reviewing grammar, or I would remind students how Hoodwinked related to what we'd talked about for narratives. I also presented students trying to bring up their own ideas for how class should go during the movie day with the options for the day – grammar lessons or a movie. I was fully prepared to back myself up on this one if they kept complaining, already having a couple plans in my head of what might be some grammar to teach them. I wasn't trying to be sarcastic or talk back to my students; I stayed calm and gave them a rational, true response to their queries. I needed to give a firm reminder that I decided the plans, not them.
Through these complaints and the lack of respect to my instruction, I've seen that somehow I have not set up my presence as teacher in this classroom firmly for students yet. I'm dancing a fine line, because I love building rapport with my students; yet, they definitely need to respect me as well and I have to be a firm authority presence.
Now we go on spring break; even that has taught me about what being a teacher really means! The narratives aren't going on third quarter, so aren't required to be finished in a week, but the students probably will ask. So, here I am, the night before I leave for Cancun with some of my best friends (coincidentally, our spring breaks lined up, and we planned this trip in November), downloading some of the narratives to grade on the plane. I want to be one of those on the ball teachers, so I hope to get done as many as I can on the plane rides, and even in the hotel, before I return to school a week from Monday. People may claim teachers have a lot of break time, but really, our work doesn't end when we aren't in the “office.”
This spring break came at a much needed time. However, we jump right back into a crazy week when we return. We start learning about Shakespeare, as the Reading class reads A Midsummer Night's Dream, which will be fun for me, but I know will cause even more of this complaining. I'm coming up with ideas now to show them how relevant Shakespeare's stories remain in today's movies, plays, and books, and hopefully that will hook them. Then, PARC testing is occurring, but only for 2 periods, so the other periods have to be taught something that it's okay for 1st and 2nd to miss. Crazy.
For now, I'm eager to escape this weather. 80's and sun, here I come!
Oh, but now back to grading.
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