This week was going to be a quiet week; while the rest of my
friends departed campus, I was still around, preparing myself for a
full week of work. In the end, it was a blessing that few people were
around this week; the quiet was what I needed as I worked from the
moment I got home until my head hit the pillow.
It's been rare that I have been as emotionally, mentally, and
physically drained as I was this entire week. My days went from
supporting students in class and still getting a feel for the school
to fully being in charge for a straight seven class periods. In
addition, I was working through 35 narratives each night to get
through the writing of my nearly 100 students by the end of the week,
and then starting the second cycle of read-throughs on their
narratives. I was resisting complaining students about the guidelines
I set, and students who decided to break those rules anyway. I was
dealing with students who simply laughed in my face when I gave them
instructions to follow or corrected their behavior and other students
flat out ignored me. When I came up with what I thought would be good
ideas for advisory, they ended in chaos. On top of all of it, I was
also working on job applications for the reality that is coming my
way in just 7 weeks. It was honestly exhausting.
To break some of this down a little more, let's take a look at the
week. Monday I introduced narrative writing, gave them prompts to
choose from, and started the students brainstorming what they wished
to write. Then we began the work days, which were days that I had to
fight the most to stand my ground. I instructed them that the noise
level had to be a whisper, that they could not use iPads while
writing since they already Chrome books for any internet needs, they
were not to use ear buds, and they could not move seats. The first
day, it was trying to keep a couple students in line, and the noise
level in most classes was not even close to a whisper. The second
day, Wednesday, the students in all but one or two of the seven
periods had moved around so much when I went to tell one student to
move back to their seat, another student was sitting there, and when
I told that student to move, another was sitting there, until I
couldn't count how far down the line I had to go to find original
seats. Meanwhile, I had some students nearly completely finished
writing on Thursday, while some had yet to type their second
sentence. The students who had gotten a lot of work done in those two
days were now bored, and rowdy. The students who didn't have much
completed were also not remaining on task, hence they weren't getting
much done.
Thursday I came in ready for some protesting students. I had
discussed with my teacher the fact that I needed to be able to give
consequences for moving seats or having ear buds because the message
wasn't getting through to the students, even when I put in bold
letters on the screen, said it aloud three times, and individually
warned several students. So this time I put it in all capital letters
on the screen, and stated at the beginning of class the possibility
of consequences. Surprisingly, Thursday was my best day and students
didn't give me near as much hassle as I expected. Friday the
students were “squirrely” and loud, but at least most of them
remained in their seats. I also had created lists of students who
didn't have work done, and started checking in with them repeatedly
during class, reminding them over and over to get to work.
Advisory periods are a whole different beast. I had no idea going
into this that I would be expected to also take over this period,
which meets with the small homeroom group for teacher-planned
activities or lectures, for half an hour. In my idea, I was taking
over some of the normal lessons with continual teacher support, and
she would guide me more gradually into supervising advisory, since in
this group that period is chaos. Yet, my teacher had other work to
do, and Tuesday I found myself in charge of this period in addition
to the other six. So I pulled out camp games and team-building
exercises. The team-building went off terribly; the students refused
to even stand in a circle in small groups. So I switched to a
non-academic, non-strenuous game. There are students in the class who
refuse to participate in any plans, but I thought that was mostly
because they didn't want to run around or do something athletic. Yet,
I found it a struggle to even get students to participate in the game
that required them to sit in a circle on the floor and only move if
they get “killed off” by the poison dart frog (who sticks out his
or her tongue at their victim, trying not to be caught by the
“detective” in the middle). Then that day, when we got back to
the classroom, there was a tussle that ended in some serious
consequences for those students. Wednesday and Thursday weren't much
improvements, though I kept the activities limited to academics like
cleaning out their lockers and checking their grades, as the teacher
suggested. Friday we tried a combined activity with another class,
and when we had to return to class we continued the activity. I
thought it was going well; the students who didn't wish to
participate could work on homework while others played and it all
seemed all right. There were some students who started getting out of
hand, and I shut it down soon after. However, reports that it was
chaotic got to my cooperating teacher. I'm running out of ideas to
keep this class content and subdued.
I have one week until spring break. We're wrapping up the writing
this week, and after spring break get to discuss Shakespeare while
the Reading class reads the play A Midsummer Night's Dream before
students see a performance of it. Hopefully that lightens some of the
nightly paper reading load. I'm interested to see how into
Shakespeare these eighth graders get.
Despite the chaos of the week, I
do find joy in some things. First of all, there are some students who
are really working hard on this unit and taking my input to heart.
They are eager to learn about writing and want to make great
narratives. Second, I've read some amazing stories. Some of these
students have mad talent, and I'm completely wrapped up in their
story. Others, who are putting forth the effort, have some great
ideas their working with and simply need some polish. Third, I know
that this placement is truly preparing me for teaching. In talking
with my cooperating teacher, I noted that I guess I'd rather have a
tough group of students while I'm student teaching, so I can go into
my teaching career with more confidence in these situations. Finally,
I have continued to be challenged through Bible study and songs on
the radio to be an image-bearer of Christ to those I encounter, and
this placement has certainly given a lot of opportunity for me share
that love, even when it's hard. I have to be firm with these
students, but I hope in that firmness, I am also able to show my
positivity, my continual belief that these students can succeed if
they try, and a caring attitude about the individuals in the class.
I have to make it one week. Then
I get a short reprieve from the daily grind, and after that it's only
five weeks. I have more work on the way, with finish the edTPA,
taking the APT test, and continuing the job search process. However,
I know better than ever that God will give me his strength on those
days I can't find any on my own. And as a cute blue fish, Dory, would
say... “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.”
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